Letter Writers' Guild

  ALLAH ALLAKBAR! Imam Salmond requires all ethnic Scots in Glasgow to swear allegiance as "new Muslims" in the Islamic Republic of Hampden Parkistan and to denounce the infidel Christian kuffar Andrew as being completely a non-person according to my fatwah! Commissar Sweeney will issue the Sharia National Party diktat on the local income tax levels required for free halal school meals. Islamic indoctrination will be administered to the target number of kuffar @ a level not to exceed 18 children ! This measure, will ensure the ethnic demise of the Native Scots in the Marxist Islamic Brave New Order! Our glorious Matriarch Nicola, of the Sharia Soviet will also announce tax reductions for the non-production of children, among the Kuffar, following the example our Matriarch has personally endorsed so admirably! The Supreme Leader, and head of Islamic reconstruction The Great Osama (blessed be his name) will speak on all State matters as I will now retire from public affairs my position within the Sharia National Party being deemed irrelevant, by The Supreme leader (peace be unto him). I shall of course be immersed in Koranic studies and constant prayer for the guidance of our new Glorious Independent Bankrupt Sharia Republic of Scotland!

  Your Esteemed Former Leader,  

    Ali Salmond Rushdie